Some style May your coffee be stronger than your daughter’s attitude shirt: This would benefit from a summary or abstract. Also you are taking a lot of space with generic platitudes (e.g. “We have our own properties, our own means of transport, our own clothes, our own jobs, our own little segment of the world, and we rarely see beyond our narrow viewpoint”) and could condense it by focusing on key arguments and supporting claims.
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Then it would be easier May your coffee be stronger than your daughter’s attitude shirt to read and evaluate your argument. Your writing seems to be good for motivating people who are already on your side, but not optimized for supporting a controversial thesis. True, an abstract would make it more accessible. I did put some thought into the point you made about generic platitudes, I was mostly trying to flesh it out for let’s say the average Joe who has never given any of this much thought…but I do get where you’re coming from. Maybe I could trim it rather than streamline it completely. Which claims do you think need more support?
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I have sourced some of May your coffee be stronger than your daughter’s attitude shirt but could probably do more, yes. I am really happy this has received some substantial feedback now so I can have plenty of considerations to take in for its 3rd iteration. Honestly, I have no idea – I barely skimmed it. It’s really long and I haven’t the time. If I see an abstract or summary, I can at least suggest the main parts where I would be skeptical. Thanks for the forum suggestion, I am new to Reddit and didn’t know about it.